Compliment??


DH and I were enjoying some quiet time the other night, meaning he was following cricket on his laptop and I was facebooking on mine. I was looking at pictures from this acquaintance of mine. We’ve known these people for some time, but they’re by no means close friends of ours. I was checking out pictures from their latest vacation and happened to show DH one picture where the lady had received a number of complimentary comments.

He glanced at the picture and said “Eh, she looks okay, I guess.” I was a little shocked, honestly the woman looked good, definitely better than okay. So I called out DH on his reaction and said he wasn’t being fair. His response “She can be the hottest woman on earth but if she does not have good qualities, she can never be very attractive to me. Knowing what I know of her, rest assured I am never going to find her very attractive.”

I have known of this philosophy of DH’s for some time but the man can be very tight-lipped about women and their attractiveness and/or hotness. So, he’s never cared to elaborate. Sensing an opening, I pushed “So, what is it that makes women attractive to you?”

He said “A woman can be extremely unattractive physically but if she has compassion, if she’s affectionate, has a sense of humor, can be one of the guys from time to time and knows how to treat people well, her attractiveness will be multiplied manifold. On the other hand she can be Miss World but if she’s one of those chui-mui (delicate darlings), high-flying, superficial, shopping crazy, a nag, believes in huge doses of public display of affection and wants to be the center of attention all the time then she’s just not the type that does it for me. What works perfectly is some combination of the 2. A woman who is pretty, not overly so, but is fun to spend time with, is able to take a joke, has some culinary skills – a man can’t always order out and has the ability to be giving and unselfish with the more important relationships.”

I countered “That’s just you, that’s your yardstick for how you measure women, this may not be true for other men.” He goes “Main aam aadmi hoon (I am your average man), sure enough, over 90% of men think of women the way I do,”

Now, now, I know most of you women out there are trying to figure out what end of the spectrum you belong to, but eyeballs on the post, please. I’m trying to drum up some numbers here. The poor blog’s been languishing the last few days.

Now obviously, I wanted to know what category I belonged to. Secretly, I was hoping he’d say that I am drop dead gorgeous, probably break into “Ek ladki ko dekha” while telling me that I was also the paragon of womanly virtues. But the cheek of the man, he says “You are attractive to me, that’s all I am going to say.”

So, does that mean I am drop dead gorgeous and have a few of the qualities he’s looking for, or that I am reasonably good-looking and an average cook, wife, mother who tries her best, or does it mean I am butt ugly but I am an excellent cook, mother, wife etc?

Egads…. who knew a compliment (??) could lead to so many questions.

The same night we are watching some soap (no, we did not abandon the laptops, we are adept at multitasking) where the wife, as is always the case, is the last to find out that her husband is having an affair and there is major drama with lots of tears and mera suhaag (en purusan thaan, enakku mattum thaan) type dialog. I have had it up to here with wives crying and lamenting and just being general idiots and not noticing lipstick marks and women’s perfume on their husbands. So I announce to DH “If you want to have an affair, you have my blessing. Just please let me know before the world finds out. That way I won’t have to look blotchy faced and big nosed. (I look positively awful when I cry and there’s no need to subject the man to that look unless it’s netting me expensive jewellery)”

And he says, “Now, that’s why I am glad you’re my wife and that’s what makes you so attractive to me.”

So, it’s settled then, I am not drop dead gorgeous. I am attractive because I am going to let him have an affair 😦

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32 thoughts on “Compliment??

    1. Sure Deb, we’re looking at applicants and shortlisting them now. Will let you know once he decides who to have the affair with 😛

  1. ha ha! Now that’s a license which is going to get you brownie points 😉 Men have such strange yardsticks,no? I am sure if i broached the topic with the hubby, he’d say the same thing. Having been a tomboy all my life, I do know this that the chui muis of the world get enough attention to make up for the 90% that doesn’t find them “attractive”. FB has almost become a joke these days , with people posting pretentious air-brushed pics. When i need a good laugh, i log into it 😉

    1. Bhargavi, I am guilty of posting way too many pictures on Facebook. They’re not airbrushed, not yet but I am positive that day is not far. So you can add me to the list of people you laugh at. I agree with you a 100% on the chui-mui’s getting way too much attention. They were the bane of my existence back in college 😦

  2. I should say DH has been very adventurous. For the question asked, the only answer is No and I don’t wish to discuss :). It’s like the question when DW asks looking at the mirror, ‘do I look fat in this dress ?’ the answer is always no :).

  3. Do let us know when he informs you of the affair. :p

    My bf has the same answer.. and guess what, i fall in the not at all good looking (yet) but good in other things category [until I lose some (a lot) weight].. that, he says is the only thing stopping me fro looking good. 🙂

    Great post. Loved reading it. And men are tight lipped, so yes that is a huge compliment, what he said. 😀

    1. I am picking the woman he has an affair with, so I get to scope out the competition 🙂 As regards looking good, beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, doesn’t it??

  4. WOW 🙂 LOL… what a dialogue ? so if he tell you about his affair,, just make another post of it 🙂 you don’t worry 🙂 i want to tell you that am free all time and ii can wait ( i mean i am free to read the post 😛 :P)
    ” en purusan than enakku mattum than ” that line hehe LOL 😛 😛

    1. Welcome back Deepak…. yeah, yeah, yeah. I will definitely make a post out of it when he has the blessed affair 🙂

      The en purusan thaan, ennakku mattum thaan is actually a pretty popular line in our house. DH actually expects me to sing it from time to time 😛

        1. True…. I’ll have to start keeping an eye on him. Do not want to look like the stars of Manaivi or Mettiolli or Kolangal anytime soon 🙂

    1. Hello Amit,

      Yours is the first ecoblog I have read and it looks extremely interesting. Welcome to my space and thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read.

    1. I used to watch them, I have given up Tamizh soaps, I am now hooked to Hindi soaps. Here, people may have problems but they’re rich and well dressed when dealing with them 🙂

    1. Hey Keerthana,

      Welcome to the blog. Yes, that’s my ace, he’s never going to find someone who’s letting him do that, so I think I am safe 🙂

  5. Seriously Ms. M, I’d be interested to know what would your honest reaction be if he had said, “the lady/friend in the photo was truly very attractive”. I agree, aam aadmi may be like DH and would take the smart path. I say, he believes he has everything he wants in you, that is why he took the smart path. Why waist time hitting around the bush and state the obvious which has no value for either of you. I say Kudos to DH for going to lengths to reason his explanation. I would think, aam aadmi would simply say, “you are the one for me” and shut the topic down. Looks like DH is after all not so “aam aadmi”. Your readers my find this comment boring but, what the H**k, everyone has an opinion.

    PS: I may be the last one to say this, but you keep it real and very interesting. Thanks!
    I’m just catching up on all your posts to-date. Quality entertainment for free!

    1. Hello Sikandhar,

      Welcome back. You were my first follower and my first comment came from you as well, so I am glad to see you visit me again.

      That the DH bothered to explain so much is extremely surprising. Normally , he pleads the fifth and that is the end of the conversation. So, yes, I am not going to look a gift horse in the mouth. If he says, I’m attractive, I’ll accept the compliment graciously and move on.

      I’m happy to see I am keeping you entertained. Please visit more often 🙂

    1. Thanks V, for stopping by and for saying such nice things. I checked out your blog… I liked the Kerala chronicles. I will read more of your work

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